40,082 Words!

I met my goal for the new year!  Well, my revised goal... Tonight I surpassed 40,000 words!  I'm going to do this-- I'm going to finish a book!  Whether or not it is any good, that's a whole other issue, but, not my current concern!

Only 10,000 to 20,000 more words to go!

31,128 words...

I just hit 31,128 words, which means that I'm more than half way through my book!  Realistically, I expect my finished product to be somewhere around 60,000 words or 200-240 pages.  The more I write, the more I am becoming fascinated with how writing changes the way that I see the world around me.  

Lately, sitting in crowded rooms has left me quietly observing, listening, thinking of how I would describe the scene and people around me with words.  Reading books and watching movies has left me taking notes about how story tellers cut scenes and purposely leave things out.  Looking at pictures and listening to songs have in turn given me unexpected inspiration, helping me to fill in dead ends and set the tone.  It is funny how ideas surround us if we stop to look and listen.

It's fun to find our passions, I think that I've found one of mine, (regardless of how it works out).

On a less-related note, here are three pictures that I want to share of my December so far:

Reluctant Friends

Modern Solitude

Candy Land!

Young Adult

Do you remember the girl that you hated in school?  The one with the clone worshippers that liked her even though she was blatantly mean to everyone?

If you were like me, you probably spent your high school days fantasizing about what that girl was going to end up like in her late thirties.  I'll spare you the tasteless details of how I imagined my high school nemesis to turn out, but trust me, it was not pretty.  I, on the other hand, imagined myself to be a sophisticated world traveler, educated, poised, wealthy.  Always wearing heels and a dress from Anthropologie. Funny what we think will matter most.

This weekend I saw the movie Young Adult with Charlize Theron and was reminded of these teenaged fantasies.  The movie was funny, dark, and unbearable at moments.  I left hating it, even if it made me laugh.  But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was the moment that all underdogs wait for-- the chance to see the villain suffer.

The irony to me, is that I wanted the villain to change, to grow, to improve and to become likeable.  Instead of wanting to watch her fail, I desperately wanted to watch her change.  The suffering was not rewarding, it was depressing.  I realized that I would much rather discover that my nemesis had changed and become her friend.  What a departure from my 17 year-old self!

I was also shocked to see little pieces of myself in her, remembering moments that I had been shallow or unkind in life and laughing uncomfortably at some of her adult tastes and habits, (umm, pretty sure I own the same pair of sunglasses, have a pomeranian, and have been known to glue myself to "reality" television).  Granted, these moments paled in comparison to this villain, but there is a certain shame in seeing the villain in yourself, as well as a certain introspection in seeing the mirror reflected back at you.

It made me laugh how she so adamantly opposed the idea of a life in her home town, set on the idea that the city would make her happier, cooler, more important.  Been there, done that, (and returned home again).  It also made me think about how much my vision of adult life has changed from the age of 17 to now.  I would have never fantasized about being an elementary school teacher, married, living in Sacramento.  But, now, here am I, consciously embracing all of those things.  Life is funny.

So, even though it was dark, a little over the top, and at times painful to watch, I change my review.  I liked Young Adult.  It made me think, a lot.  

Jackets and Other Fun Things

Trying to write a book is zapping my energy to blog.

That aside, there are a couple of things that I want to celebrate.

First, I recently noticed that a handful of my students still do not have warm winter jackets.  This was very saddening to me, (even more so than all of the challenging life stories that I hear everyday, funny where the line is for each of us).  I shared my frustration with friends and family and received a huge response from people willing to help me find jackets for my students.  My dad even went to Target at 10:00 at  night just to buy a jacket for one of my students, (and showed up the very next morning to deliver it!).  As much as I was saddened to think of my students cold, I was really inspired by how many people in my life care enough to change this.

Second, I worked 52 hours last week!  This is a celebration because I had been working 60!  I am cutting myself off at 5PM, (7AM to 5PM), and forcing myself to spend only a couple of hours planning on the weekend.  It feels better, even if there may at times be a mess on my desk.  My goal is to keep this new trend up.  Eventually I want to join the 4:30 club, but I'm not there yet.  And, yes, there really is a 4:30 club among some of the teachers at my school!  But, that's a good thing.  I'm feeling like the quality of my teaching is going up with the decrease in quantity of work, as I'm more patient and mentally prepared to deal with everything that comes my way.